I originally made this list January 30, 2014.
I figured I would switch things up a bit since I published a long list of insults and so I’m going to go ahead and post some of my favorite pick up lines. They’re more for amusement’s sake than anything else.
And while it may be hard to insult someone, it’s much harder to make ‘em swoon.
Most of these are cheesy, but hey maybe I’m just cheesy for you (see what I did there?).
- (holds out hand) Would you hold this for me while I go for a walk?
- You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?
- I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way.
- There isn’t a word in the dictionary for how good you look.
- Gee, it looks like there is something wrong with my cell phone, it doesn’t have your number in it.
- Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right? (One can also substitute the dinosaurs with something else obviously false, for example: “but Justin Bieber produces good music, right?”. Of course, if the girl decides that yes, Justin Bieber does do that, then you’re probably dating too young and are in risk of pedophilia-related charges. Shame on you!)
- Your lips look so lonely… would they like to meet mine?
- Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.
- If I were a transplant surgeon, I’d give you my heart.
- I’m sorry, were you talking to me? [No] Well then, please start.
- Was you father an alien? Because there’s nothing else like you on Earth!
- You be the Dairy Queen and I’ll be your Burger King: You treat me right, and I’ll do it your way.
- You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy. (The cheese king of all cheesy pick up lines)
- I have an “owie” on my lip. Will you kiss it and make it better? (I’m sure someone can succeed in making this sound sexier, but I just can’t right now)
- On a scale of 1 to 10, you’re a 9… because I’m the 1 you need.
- If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I’d have a galaxy in my hand.
- Did you swallow a magnet too? Because I feel like I can’t pull you away.
- No matter how much I practice, I’ll never make pictures of you pretty enough.
- The average adult whale has a heart that weighs more than 13,000 pounds, but it still wouldn’t be able to love you as much as I do.
- (looks at leaves in fall or whatever) Hey look even the leaves are falling for you…